kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
