oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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