Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Non-Jews are for practice
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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