I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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