I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
