Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
