Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
