i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize