So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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