yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize