Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
