I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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