Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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