She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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