I'm lost and stupid without you.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
