Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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