he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
