all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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