am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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