How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
