a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
