if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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