is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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