Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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