so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize