hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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