are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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