In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
