My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
