Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
