I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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