ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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