What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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