i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
