She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
