Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
