Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
