Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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