Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
