Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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