why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
