i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
