my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize