Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"