hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.