His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
