I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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