When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Randomize