We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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