YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
