I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
