I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
