My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
