Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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