I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
did i just pee glitter
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize