Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I want to be your penis for a week.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
