he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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