my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
