too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
