Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
