so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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