he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
