I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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