He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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