The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
