he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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