I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
