Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
