this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
