So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
