We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
