HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
What a dumb baby whore.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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